群体规范:人会模仿亲近者、多数和强者
一个行为是否显得值得做,常取决于身边人怎样对待它。人模仿家人和朋友,因为关系近;跟随多数,因为单独偏离会带来不确定和排斥;观察有地位的人,因为他们的动作似乎也沾着声望。
加入一个稳定阅读或运动的群体,原本需要额外努力的事,会慢慢变成普通日常。书里给的条件很具体,想培养的行为已经是群体常态,自己和这群人也确实有共同点。只看到一群陌生人做同一件事,未必足以产生归属。
群体同样能让坏习惯显得正常。一个环境长期赞美加班、饮酒或冒险,拒绝这些行为时,失去的可能还有认可与身份。群体身份 会继续加重这种压力。书里那句 “Most days, we’d rather be wrong with the crowd than be right by ourselves”,并不夸张地解释了很多人为什么明知不对,仍会跟着一起做。
Humans are herd animals. We want to fit in, to bond with others, and to earn the respect and approval of our peers. Such inclinations are essential to our survival. For most of our evolutionary history, our ancestors lived in tribes. Becoming separated from the tribe—or worse, being cast out—was a death sentence. “The lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. 《Atomic Habits》,Location 1409 Join a culture where (1) your desired behavior is the normal behavior and (2) you already have something in common with the group 《Atomic Habits》,Location 1449 Humans are similar. There is tremendous internal pressure to comply with the norms of the group. The reward of being accepted is often greater than the reward of winning an argument, looking smart, or finding truth. Most days, we’d rather be wrong with the crowd than be right by ourselves. 《Atomic Habits》,Location 1487 We are also motivated to avoid behaviors that would lower our status. We trim our hedges and mow our lawn because we don’t want to be the slob of the neighborhood. When our mother comes to visit, we clean up the house because we don’t want to be judged. We are continually wondering “What will others think of me?” and altering our behavior based on the answer. 《Atomic Habits》,Location 1504 Chapter Summary The culture we live in determines which behaviors are attractive to us. We tend to adopt habits that are praised and approved of by our culture because we have a strong desire to fit in and belong to the tribe. We tend to imitate the habits of three social groups: the close (family and friends), the many (the tribe), and the powerful (those with status and prestige). One of the most effective things you can do to build better habits is to join a culture where (1) your desired behavior is the normal behavior and (2) you already have something in common with the group. The normal behavior of the tribe often overpowers the desired behavior of the individual. Most days, we’d rather be wrong with the crowd than be right by ourselves. If a behavior can get us approval, respect, and praise, we find it attractive. 《Atomic Habits》,Location 1510
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